


The Perfect Disaster

by lillylover89



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Chubby Reader, Cunnilingus, Cute romance, Disaster Date, F/M, Holy crap such awkward virgins, Reader-Insert, Shower Sex, Soapy Fun, blowjob, scarred reader, silly fluff, virgins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillylover89/pseuds/lillylover89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bad date leads to amazingness.<br/>(Prompted by the sentence at the beginning.)</p><p>(I'm sorry if any of this is OOC and that it's huge chunks of text!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perfect Disaster

I can taste you on my lips and smell you on my clothes…

Alfred couldn’t believe you were so beautiful! He had only talked to you online and you never sent pictures because you were smart about being online. Only after several months of talking did you agree to consider meeting in person and you insisted that it be in public plus at least one of his friends and your friends be there just in case. He of course agreed since he was eager to meet the sweet, funny, and morbid girl that he’d been talking to for so long. After asking so many different people and getting refusals left and right he finally got Mathew to agree to come with him. You had gotten your best friend to come with you and you all agreed to meet at a local diner. Now you, Alfred, Mathew, and your friend were sitting in a booth waiting for two burgers and fries, waffles with maple syrup, and bacon with eggs respectively. You were blushing as you happily talked with Alfred about your favorite superheroes and cartoons while Mathew made small talk with your friend about the weather. They agreed after eating their food that they were just the third and fourth wheels to this deal, all the while you and Alfred were still eagerly debating the pros and cons of pitting Captain America against Iron Man so neither of you noticed when your friends slipped away leaving some money to cover their portions of the bill. After proving your point about how Saitama would completely destroy Superman you both noticed that Mathew and your friend had gotten away. After laughing for a good minute about it, but in your heads you were both thinking, “Crap. Now it feels like a weird date!” You coughed lightly after you finished laughing and said, “Well I’m pretty sure you aren’t a serial killer so we definitely have to do this again sometime.” Alfred’s chuckling trailed off as he smiled warmly and said, “Oh yeah! By the way you are really cool and pretty!” You blushed intensely as you said, “Eh, I’m chubby, scarred, and plain. Plus, I just end up talking people’s ears off about silly stuff.” Alfred’s face turned serious as he said, “You’re curvy and the scars are proof you are a survivor and no way are you plain. You have really prettily shaped lips, beautiful eyes, and cute moles!” By the end he was pouting and blushing and you were smiling bashfully as you were barraged with compliments. You said very quietly, “Thank you.” He blushed harder and he said, “I’m stating the truth when I say that I find you extremely attractive and really interesting.” This made you giggle and blush even harder afterwards and you said softly, “You’re pretty handsome yourself. You’re funny, sweet, and really fun to be around Alfred.” He smiled goofily as he asked, “Do you maybe wanna go on a date?” You smiled right on back as you nodded and said, “I’d love to!”

You’re first date was a disaster. First it was raining all day then when Alfred picked you up you both slipped in the mud and got soaked in mud. You both laughed it off, but then when you got to the movie they were sold out on the one you were going to and after seeing a really boring shitty movie you both had a really crappy dinner. Seriously the orders were wrong and the waiter was really rude about everything when you refused to give him the time of day when he flirted with you. So when Alfred drove up to your house you began shaking with laughter making him ask if you were okay. You were still laughing when you said, “This was the worst first date ever and I still really like you! That’s a pretty damn good omen for the future of this relationship!” He began chuckling too as he realized how messed up this day was and how much he still really liked you despite the crappy start to the relationship. You unbuckled your seat belt and you said, “C’mon, we both need showers and my house has two bathrooms with showers.” Alfred nodded a bit too enthusiastically and you both raced to the front door slipping and sliding while laughing happily about everything. Once inside you kissed his cheek making him blush and freeze allowing you to get a head start on getting to the bathroom. He broke out of the trance quickly enough to follow you laughing with you as he caught you as you entered the hallway. You both stopped just enjoying the embrace until you both realized how stinky and grimy you felt and you began laughing again. He and you had agreed to save sex for way later in the relationship, but you were both sorely tempted to take a shower together. After a shared look of mischief, you asked, “We’ve been hanging out for a few weeks. And look we’ve practically dated for months online right? So what do you say? Shower together without going too far?” His eyes darkened slightly as he nodded while biting his lip and you grabbed his hand, leading him to the bathroom that was closest. Once inside you removed the tuxedo t-shirt he was wearing and he helped you out of the cute, “Pretty girls read too.” shirt you had picked. He kissed you lightly as he brushed his fingers along your spine making you shiver and whine. You separated from the kiss to smile cheekily at him while you backed away so you could take off your jeans and he did the same while blushing heavily. You giggled when you saw the batman vs superman boxer briefs he had on and he pouted while saying something about not expecting this situation when he picked them. Smiling you said, “I think they’re cool.” He perked up with that compliment and you resumed kissing until finally you had to separate for air once more. You were feeling mutual awkwardness about the next step since you were both virgins and despite looking at a lot of porn neither of you had seen a set of genitals in real life. After about half a minute of silence while you both stared elsewhere you got fed up with the quiet and said, “Okay. I’ve never seen a dick IRL before and I’m willing to bet you haven’t seen boobs or… Anyway! On three we both drop our respective trousers and look okay?” He nodded and you began counting and when you got to three you both shoved your respective underwear down, but you both chickened out on looking. Simultaneously you both looked and ended up staring at each other awkwardly. He wasn’t huge by any means, but that didn’t mean a thing since this was the first dick you’d ever seen IRL and he wasn’t too surprised that you didn’t do much maintaining down there. Still you both stared unsure if you wanted to continue until finally you looked up which caught his attention and you turned around which gave him a view of your ass. You asked, “Alright take my bra off then we get in the shower and we’re going to kiss then we’re going to help scrub this damn mud off each other’s bodies. Okay?” Alfred nodded despite you not being able to see him and he began fiddling with your bra clasp which tickled making you squirm and giggled making him blush and pout as he said, “Hey this isn’t easy you know?!” That made you laugh harder as you said, “I’m not laughing at you! It tickles damn it!” He stopped for a second while he laughed as well and soon after that he finally defeated the damn clasp. You turned around and Alfred’s jaw dropped which made you a bit nervous until he asked, “Can I…” He trailed off, but you understood the question loud and clear. You bit your lip and you nodded shyly and he gulped loudly before he reached out to lightly caress your breast. A moan escaped you as he began tracing patterns around the nipple and then he lightly held it almost weighing how heavy it was while he kneaded it. You were moaning softly when you said, “We- ah!- need to- un!- get into the- ooh!- shower!” You giggled slightly when you saw the look of awe on his face and he nodded, but didn’t’ stop lightly caressing your breasts almost like he was afraid that you’d say he wouldn’t be able to touch them ever again after he stopped. So you started backing up until you were at the edge of the bathtub and you said gently, “Alright c’mon. Stop staring at me like I’m a goddess and let’s get in the damn shower.” There was a light teasingly playful tone to your voice and Alfred smiled almost sadly as he stopped, making you laugh. You pulled the shower curtain open and stepped inside beckoning Alfred to come in with you. Once you were both standing inside the tub you brought the shower curtain into the tub and drew it closed leaving you both in moderate darkness. You started running the water and you both tested it to make sure you were both going to be comfortable. After agreeing on the temperature you turned on the shower head and you both shrieked at the cold shock of water from the shower. You laughed together about the coldness then you grabbed your body wash and said, “Sorry if this makes smelling like mint and green tea makes you uncomfortable.” He laughed understanding the light teasing tone and he said, “That sounds delicious to be honest!” You both chuckled then you grabbed your scrubby and you ran it under the water to get it nice and warm. After turning the water off you put some of the body wash on the scrubby and started cleaning Alfred’s chest making him yelp since the gel was rather cold still. You snickered lightly at his reaction and began softly scrubbing his abs which made him laugh as it kind of tickled. Once you were satisfied with the cleanliness of the front of his torso you cheekily tweaked his nipple earning a yelp-like moan and a look of shock that made you chortle. He pouted as you moved on to washing his arms which still had mud stubbornly clinging to them and he winced as you brushed over a scrape on his bicep. You winced in sympathy as you continued to lightly scrub and you found a couple other scrapes that were hidden beneath mud. After his arms were satisfactorily clean you turned him around and began cleaning his back. You admired the thick muscles and you softly scowled when you saw some scars that you knew the story behind. Too soon for your liking you were done with his back and you pondered where to go from there. Alfred wondered what you were doing when he didn’t feel the scrubby again and then he realized your dilemma. You decided with a determined look that you’d start with his ass then the back of his legs then you’d move to the front. Of course it’s shocking to feel something on your butt when you aren’t expecting it so Alfred jumped a bit when you began washing his toned and firm backside. This made you chuckle lightly and he started pouting again until you began on the back of his thigh which was really ticklish and he began fidgeting as he started laughing. You stored this fact in your memory for later as you moved to the backs of his knees which almost made him fall over as they were really sensitive. Understanding the problem, you had him sit on the built-in ledge and you resumed cleaning his legs while trying not to stare at his semi-erect cock. Alfred was blushing at the position you and he were in and soon you were done with his legs and feet which left only one area that you had yet to do anything with. You looked at his blushing face as you ask, “I have something I want to try. Would it be okay if I… gave you a blowjob?” His blush worsened as he nodded slowly and you smiled comfortingly. You told him to tell you if you did anything he wasn’t comfortable with or if you did something wrong and he nodded. With his consent you leaned in close and lightly licked the head making him shudder delightfully. You opened your mouth and carefully engulfed him earning a loud moan and he barely kept from responding with a thrust. After a couple of experimental bobs you began using your tongue while keeping an eye on his expressions to see what really got him going. You could tell he was getting close and you hummed gently which got you an extra loud groan. He did his best to warn you which you only hummed in response which brought him to his finish and you swallowed as much as you could delighting in his expression of bliss. With a small pop you removed your lips from him and said, “Wow. That was awesome right?!” He nodded fervently making you grin and he smiled dopily as he pointed out that you had some on your chin. You licked it up which made him blush again and you grabbed the scrubby again then began softly cleaning him. Once that was done you turned on the water and made sure it was the right temperature before grabbing the shower head so you could control where the water went before you turned it back on. Alfred smiled as you began gradually drenching him in warm water, rinsing away the suds and making the aches fade. Once he was completely free of the lather you sat the showerhead down so it kept the tub soaked in steam and you grabbed the bottle of mint shampoo so you could begin washing his hair. After squeezing a small dollop into your hand you instructed him to sit on the bath mat so you could sit on the ledge and comfortably lather his hair from there. Once you were both in position you coated both hands with the shampoo and began lightly rubbing his hair making him groan in ecstasy. You made sure to massage his scalp so that it went all the way and once that was done you grabbed the showerhead, rinsed your hands, and began washing the shampoo away. Afterwards you grabbed your unscented conditioner and ran your fingers through his hair until it was coated. You smiled at how happy he was with all of this and you gently rinsed his hair one last time. Now it was his turn! He rinsed the scrubby then turned the water off so it could heat up a bit and after that he began with washing your breasts with gentle circles. You leaned against the wall as you moaned and whimpered while he lightly played with you soapy and slick breasts. He moved on from you boobs to your plump belly and he asked, “Can I return the favor?” You blushed as you nodded and he grinned cockily before spreading your lips. He gave an experimental lick which produced a loud whine of pleasure from you and he grinned before resuming the same thing even quicker and repeating. This made you keen and whimper softly and soon you were almost wailing with pleasure as he pushed you closer to orgasm. With one final lick to your clit you began shaking and shivering with an intense orgasm and he helped you ride it out with soft licks. After the trembling subsided you grinned and said, “Holy shit! That was awesome!” He grinned and said, “Cool! You taste really good by the way!” You blushed as you said, “You did too.” You smiled like idiots at each other and he resumed cleaning you gradually. He clean your legs and found a few bruises and scrapes that made you whine in pain and that made him wince. Soon he moved to your arms and cleaned some of the stubborn mud from them and he found more scratches that made you flinch. He apologized softly for your pain and you reminded him that the same thing happened to him as well. You smiled comfortingly and he smiled back before returning to washing you as gently as he could while still being effective. He pampered you as much as possible and soon it was your turn for your hair to be washed. The same position swap occurred and he began softly washing your hair. You groaned happily as he kneaded your scalp and he rinsed it before doing the hair conditioner thing for you as well. You both stood up and simply stood together in the warm spray of the shower. After warming back up you turned the water off and you grabbed towels for both of you. When you were both dry you gave him on of your bathrobes and put on one as well. You tossed the dirty clothes in your washer and set it up then went to the living room with Alfred to sit on the couch and watch a nice movie he hadn’t seen yet.

It was the perfect disaster.


End file.
